Discussion in 'The VIP Lounge' started by CJ, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin War Zone Member

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    One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, "I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan." Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, "I'm sorry, we don't loan money to frogs." To which the frog replied, "I have collateral," as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, "I don't know. I'll have to talk to the bank manager."

    She walked back to the manager's office and said, "There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral." The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, "Why it's a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan."
  2. Jason Lorette

    Jason Lorette Active Member

    Oh, my...what a way to start off the week...sigh...
  3. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin War Zone Member

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    At Sunday school, the teacher asks a little boy, "do you pray to God before each meal?" The little boy says, "who told you about my mother's cooking?!"
  4. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin War Zone Member

    Top Poster Of Month

    It was the first day of school after summer vacation.
    The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends.
    THEN?In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats.

    The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.
    After about a minute or so, he spoke...
    "From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom.
    You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework.
    Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.

    The first one is "gross"
    And the other one is "cool"
    Are there any questions?"

    After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand,
    and the teacher calls upon him.
    In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks...

    "So, what are they?"
  5. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin War Zone Member

    Top Poster Of Month

    Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Just one, but that light bulb really has to want to change!
  6. emoxley

    emoxley New Member

    An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone
    had shown interest in his paintings.

    "I've got good news and bad news," she said.
    "The good news is that some guy inquired if
    it would appreciate in value after you died.
    When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of
    your paintings."

    "And the bad news?"

    "The guy was your doctor."


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